It's Not Goodbye
by aomurasakiai
Summary: [{(COMPLETE)}] Duo is waiting for a letter that will determine the course of his life. +Songfic+


Author:  aomurasakiai

Warnings:  Duo POV, Shounen ai, Drama, Angst, Sap

Pairings:  Past 2+?, 2+Another ?

Spoilers:  None

Rating:  G leaning to PG

Dedication:  Deb and Usagi-chan.  To you both who have given me so much support on this songfic.  And also Amazon for coming up with the contest in the first place to get me writing on this song which has been in my head since forever.

Song: "Oh Mr. Postman" by B*Witched

Songfic Notes:

[song lyrics]

"words spoken"

//letter//

It's Not Goodbye [Part 01 of 01]

*Entered in Amazon's Feb. Songfic Contest*

I let out a long sigh as I sit waiting for the post to arrive, remembering when I sent him the letter just a couple of weeks before...

[Angel, I can feel it's not you]

Being away from him, I had so much time to think and I realized...

I didn't love him.

[Angel, I wish it were not true]

He was the one who urged me to go...  to move out from the home we shared and accept the job being offered to me.  With a smile, he had said, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

I let out a bitter laugh.

I guess not.

[And as I walk to the beat of my heart inside]

[I feel like letting go]

Drifting farther and farther apart...  physically...  emotionally...

I can't hold on...

My love for him slips through my fingers like the sands of time...

[Oh darling now in my dream you'll be tonight so]

I had dreamed so often.  He was in it but so was another...  Another whose arms were around me...

Perhaps the first sign that I never really loved him... but loved the other...

[Oh Mr. Postman]

[Give me a sign]

"Good evening."  The postman's voice breaks through my reverie.  I look up and smile.

"Anything?" I ask, hopefully.

[Tell me you've a letter to make me feel fine]

I would always get a letter from him everyday.  He's just that kind of person to put his feelings on paper.

But, his letters had stopped after my letter to him...  my letter of unrequited love.

[Oh don't you know I am waiting here for you]

[Tell me it will be here tonight]

The postman knows I always get letters so he is just equally worried that post had stopped for me.  He sadly shakes his head.

"I'm sorry.  Still nothing."

My shoulders slump and despair, once again, as it had so many times before, washes over me.  The postman silently moves close and pats my shoulder, saying without words that "there's always tomorrow."

[Baby, it's the way that I feel]

I tried to fall in love with him again but I couldn't.  This other person, both in my dreams and also in reality, had unknowingly captured my heart.

Seeing this person every single day...  I can never go back to who I was before.

[Baby, my heart it won't conceal]

My heart knows that this person is my soul mate and so does my mind showing me so many dreams in my slumber.

But I feel guilty...  loving another who isn't him.

[And as I walk to the beat of my heart inside]

[I feel like letting go]

I really want to let go of this love for him...  like a heavy weight on my heart, suffocating me.  I want to give my love to another.

Waiting for the postman...  I dream...

[Oh darling now in my dream you'll be tonight]

[Oh oh aahh, Oh Oh aaahhh, Oh tonight]

I'm standing by the sea.  I look up and there he is, standing on the edge of the cliff, the setting sun in the background, casting long shadows, covering his eyes that I had loved so much.  Perhaps it is best...  I don't have to see the hurt when I say...

[He's in my heart, in my soul]

But somehow, the pain radiates from his eyes, blinding me.  Sparkling tears runs down his cheeks as he takes a step back...

And another...

And another...

I extend my hand, running forth, reaching out, fingers touching...

And I watch him plummet to the thrashing waves below.

[And oh Mr. Postman]

I awake with a start, gasping.  Taking in and expelling much needed air, I try to calm my racing heart.

Someone's gently rubbing my back.  I look up.

The postman.

He gives a small smile and holds up a letter.

[At last it's arrived]

With trembling hands, I reach out for the envelope, my name printed neatly on the front.

I can't believe this...  after so long.

What do I expect?  What *should* I expect?

[Here I have a letter]

//Duo,

Don't be sorry.  I understand how you feel.  But... know that the love is still there, Duo...  just in a different form.//

[I know he's alive]

//Hopefully, the time of silence I've given you got you to think long and hard about who really *is* your soulmate.  From the letters I've received before, I think you know as well as I do.

Best of luck.

With *brotherly* love,

Solo//

[Oh don't you know there's no more waiting here for him]

So he knows.  He can see through me... even through my writing.  I let out a shaky breath.

The weight is gone.

[Now I won't write]

[Now I won't write, Now I won't write]

[Now I won't write 'goodbye]

I don't have to let him go after all.  He'll always be there to support me.

Still staring down at the letter, a small smile crosses my face as I whisper...

[Goodbye Mr. Postman]

Not hearing a response but still feeling his presence, I look up to cobalt blue eyes.

"It's not goodbye."

He smiles as he takes my hand and pressing a chain into it.  I open my hand.

On the chain, there's a circlet of silver, upon which, there are words.

Words I had heard in my dream...  now holding a different meaning...  and not meant to hurt.

"In my heart, in my soul."

Owari

Notes:  When I first heard this song, I *had* thought about Heero and Duo writing letters to each other and the postman was a random third guy.  So I wanted to add a twist.  What if Heero was the postman?


End file.
